In preparation for “Halloween”, lots of feelings break to the surface.
It’s emotional, because I don’t want to “force” my child to endure holidays if he truly doesn’t want to.
But he doesn’t yet know what Halloween is about.
It’s sad because a part of me still grieves the loss of the life that we thought we would know for him.
It’s taxing because a twinge of jealousy still pings in my heart when I see all the adorable children running through a store, requesting costume after costume with their parents.
And my child could care less about most.
I pick out his annual costumes, boasting the characters that he watches and loves the most. And pray I’m doing this all right.
It’s difficult because I never know what kind of a costume will be acceptable, for his participation.
The costume criteria list is quite lengthy:
•No face masks
•No silly ear pieces
•No face paint
•Not too clingy
•Not too long
•Not too short
Are you picking up what I’m puttin’ down?
Let me be clear, this is 100% fine! I would never expect him to put up with all of that, simply for photos or to get candy that he may not eat.
As I’ve said before, he loves the outdoors.
He loves to go on walks.
He loves to be free to roam around and have fun.
And that’s what Halloween is for us.
We don’t care if he picks up a single piece of candy.
We don’t care if he says the words “Trick-or-Treat”.
(But it would be nice, of course).
We don’t mind if he’s particular about his costume/outfit.
Those things are not what are important.
Those are little things, in the grand scheme that is our world.
The important thing is once again, inclusion.
We will not “force” norms that do not bring him joy. But we don’t know if we do not try.
He may very well love this frightful night of fun, if we jazz it up in “Beckett style”!
That’s where my hope lives. That Beckett will enjoy his evening frolicking through the neighborhood, hand-in-hand with Mom and Dad, practicing our communication, all along.
(Always have to sneak those hidden lessons in, yuh know? High-five!).
But a part of me still worries.
How will I find Mickey Mouse, and Pooh Bear, and Puppy Dog Pals, and Bubble Guppies costumes when my son is grown?
How will I handle ignorance (whether with Beckett or witnessed for someone else), when houses turn away a child that cannot verbally speak, or is taller, or older, or more shy than most, just trying to enjoy this holiday?
I want my child to be included.
And I want your children to be too.
No matter what color “bucket” your child is carrying, no matter how simple their costume is, no matter if they’ve no costume at all, our door is open this Halloween.
And every Halloween after. 🖤
It seems simple enough. Don’t be so quick to judge.
And just let people be.
The Mickey Mouse costume is on its way, and we are doing this.
See you out there.