Truthfully, I didn’t know much about the whole world of Autism, before our son was born. Of course, I had heard of it (and like many, was misinformed).
I am a researcher by nature. A “Googler”. I “Google(d)” everything from “easy Italian Parmesan recipe” to “why does my toddler no longer use words”. My findings terrified me.
All the links began with “Autism”, and ended with something along the lines of, “consult your child’s physician as soon as possible for a full evaluation”. I remember staying up until early hours of the morning, pestering my husband with phrases like, “But it isn’t Autism though, right? He isn’t doing “x,y,z…”.
Little did I know just how little I really knew about Autism Spectrum Disorder, as a whole.
And truthfully still, I think that is where most of my “panic” as a mom began. I was so uneducated. Don’t get me wrong, my son still teaches me something new EVERY single day.I thought that because Beckett was making eye contact occasionally, and eating various food groups (at the time), and “babbling”, that we were just searching for answers to a hardship that would simply work itself out with age. That our sweet boy would just learn how to incorporate “imaginative play”, and learn to become more social with peers, make friends, and become “chatty”, like his Mama.
I listened to those doctors, nurses, therapists, etc. We trusted the feedback that we were receiving regarding our son’s developmental delays, and not just for the fact that they are professionals, but because a part of us just needed to. I remember it being, well… terrifying. All a mother wants for her child is for their life to be blissful and come easy for them. And after the abrupt and painful start that our little miracle had, entering the world in (and at just 24 weeks gestation!), that feeling of fear only intensified.
So here we are, just over a year since Beckett’s official “Autism Spectrum Disorder” diagnosis. And if I know one thing, it is that my “fears” of the “what if’s” began to change, when I realized that my son IS HAPPY. One of the happiest and blissful little boys I have ever seen. His “problems”: minimal. He has not a care in the world because he KNOWS that he is safe. And like the masses, he loves tickles, and bedtime stories, and piggy-back rides, and of course, pizza. So much pizza. And he is so, very loved!
And when those magically beautiful connections occur, though they may yet be sparse in his little world, those 3a.m. “mom fears” melt away. There is no cloud big, or dark enough, to cover our Beckett’s smile. And there’s not a thing frightening about that.
We love our sweet boy, To Infinity & Beyond Words.
Together through the help of this blog, my family and I aspire to Understand, Educate, Advocate, and Love Autism. To show all the colorful wonder that is our son, Beckett. Our story is unique to us, and will differ from every other individual upon the Spectrum. And that is very much the point, dear friends. 🙂
Thank you for being here. We hope that you’ll go on this ever-expanding journey with us, as we learn and grow together. As they say, “knowledge is power”. Help us to spread strength , as there are some challenges ahead, but more importantly, a wealth of love and light.